OMSARUZ
Humorous Tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan.
There are times when people are sick of you.
And then, there are even longer times when you are sick of people.
True or false? Do I need to elaborate? Or are we all, at times, plagued by the same fate?
But let’s not get carried away and generalize.
I’ll be honest about it. I am sick of people. Not that I’ve ever been too fond of them.
Perhaps that’s because people never seem to be sick of me. They pester me in all sorts of manners with all sorts of matters.
But I get it, I get it.
People love to share. Meaningful things—for them. Meaningless things for me.
People have a compulsive need to constantly get engaged. But I’m already engaged. In fact, I’m past that point. I’m married. Didn’t I tell you? Well, that’s because not everything that happens in our lives must be told.
People think feeling connected is important. I agree. That’s why I pay for Internet connection. Monthly. You do too. And that’s where our connectivity connection should end.
But I doooo get it. Trust me, I do.
And, I need to break free! Now!
But where?
Saudi Arabia? Great idea! Strange though. If freedom is what I am truly after, perhaps I should have a Cuba Libre instead. Or, perhaps not…
Why Oman too? They happened to be close. More like “Customers who bought this item also bought this item.”
Uzbekistan? I don’t know… Silk Road dreams? Muslim countries trio? From the most faithful to the least? Take your pick.
So, like a friend says:
“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”
Travelling is all about surprises. And margins of error.
Learn about fashion in Saudi Arabia or, la vie en… black. Try Oman’s greatest contribution to the world’s cuisine, the mighty shaurma or, the Turkish shawarma minus the tasty bits. Mediate a quarrel between dates and pomegranates. Take the high speed trains of Uzbekistan, sleek, modern and cheap too. Or, experience traffic in Saudi Arabia. Not plentiful, bountiful. Not bountiful, bumpiful, because cars bump into each other. For fun. So, not bumpiful. Bumpifun.
Filled with humorous yet poignant essays, astute observations, downright silly songs and rhymes, undeniable truths, “There is no fine water, but plenty of fine wine” and great suggestions like “Why does Forbes have a list of the richest people but no list of the poorest people? Isn’t this discriminatory? And if yes, shouldn’t we sue Forbes and ask for enough damages to land us on the richest people list?” Omsaruz is a heartwarming reminder of the power of laughter and sarcasm.
Prepare yourself for a royal treat!
This is Carol Vorvain, a writer with a sharp eye for finding the funny in any situation.
And this is OMSARUZ, which stands for… You guessed. Attempts at humor in Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan.
A Fool in Istanbul
Don’t just survive. Live!
What happens when the shrink becomes the patient and the patient becomes the shrink?
Can a workaholic get an appetite for something other than work?
Do opposites really attract?
Well, it remains to be seen.
A Fool in Istanbul, follows a workaholic’s hilarious journey from the madness of being available 24/7 back to sanity.
Atticus is a “prudish know it all, stiff and stern, not here to burn” psychiatrist, who spends his days – and too many nights – trapped in his big, shiny office. He has no time for a family and his relationships all died in infancy from scheduling problems. Life doesn’t happen to him because he doesn’t let it happen, afraid it won’t happen the only way he wants it to happen: his way.
Until one day…
Mercilessly funny, utterly addictive, smart and witty, Carol Vorvain’s new book is as painfully comic and wryly observed as it gets.
Why Not?
The island where happiness starts with a question
Lessons in happiness on the tropical island of Moorea – Tahiti’s little sister
Vicky is on a quest for paradise. And she finds it on the tropical island of Moorea, the Island of Love and Pineapple.
As the Aremiti ferry pulls into port, she is spellbound by the massive jade-green lagoon and the jagged volcanic mountains rising straight up from the ocean.
But every place has its secrets. Could there be more to this postcard image?
She has all the time in the world to find out. And she does. She eats fafaru, a rotting fish dish, and meets Polynesia’s “third sex.” She learns about the history of black pearls and the secrets of growing vanilla and discovers that when it comes to Tahitian women, bigger is better.
In no time, she falls “head-over-flip-flops” in love with the warmth and nobility of the “savages” inhabiting it, a handsome one in particular.
Adventure gives way to reflection and the novel is replete with rich insights into the Tahitian way of life, sexuality and exotic rituals, some truly bizarre, but equally fascinating.
Written with zest, humor, and great affection, Carol Vorvain’s new book, “Why not? The island where happiness starts with a question” is a delightful read for those searching for a sun-kissed paradise or simply fantasizing about it.
Full of inspired moments, the book accomplishes a feat few travel books dare: entertains, informs and inspires.
When Dreams are Calling
There is no greater fear than the fear of change and no greater joy than overcoming it.
Inspired by a true story, When Dreams are Calling is a transformational journey through five continents, seven countries that will redefine your idea of courage while making you laugh all the way.
The main character, Dora, is a witty young woman who chases her dreams across continents, from Europe to America, then to Asia, and finally, to the far away shores of Australia. We see the changes she goes through, the price she pays for following her dreams, but also the rewards she gets on the way.
Her life is a roller coaster and her plan is nothing more than the confidence that everything will work out for the best.
The story is filled with magical words of wisdom that will inspire and delight you, while making you reflect on the beauty of friendship, lust, love and kindness.
“Words have power, dreams have power, we have power” is the motif echoing all through this enthralling novel that bursts with optimism.