It might be called the city of love. It might be called the city of lights. It might be famous and loved. It might be romantic. But, I could not feel or see any of it.
Instead, I was shocked by how dirty it was and how many beggars were on the streets.
And to top it all off, nothing seemed to work properly: every day, the metro had problems, in the middle of the day the stores were closed because of power failure and even at Disneyland world, the tram I was on had mechanical problems for half an hour.
To make it worse, my hotel, the Kyriad hotel, informed me, during a week day, that my room could not be cleaned as the housekeeper was on holiday. Oh well, I guess everybody deserves a holiday and I guess all the housekeeping personnel goes on holiday at the same time. 🙂
Moving on to landmarks, next to the Tour Eiffel, it was hard to find a place on the grass litter free. Nevertheless, put on a brave face and smile. That’s the rule. You are in the city of love! And when in love who cares about garbage?
Basilique du Sacre Coeur looked similar to the one in Montreal, Canada, only the smell was way, way different. Not in a good way! Nevertheless, pose. In photos, everything looks amazing!
Moulin Rouge looked in disrepair and it was under construction. Nevermind, I thought, one less painful experience.
As a side note, if it’s still close when you are there and if you are into cabaret, for around 130 euro per person, you could always try to see the famous girls at Crazy Horse.
But, in all this madness, in Paris one place I was glad not to miss was the Erotic Museum, Musee de l’erotisme, in Montmartre.
It was a quirky, one of a kind place, with exhibits and stories about sexuality all around the globe.
There, I learned that in China, making love intensely, in complete harmony, is believed to be the only way to happiness and longevity. Not work? Really? And, guess what? Chinese believe that, despite the apparent fragility of the woman, she is superior to the man. Now that gets extra points from me.
Moving on to another great power, India, there the man exists only as a carriage of the phallus. It is in the pleasure and abandon of the act of love that man forgets his ambitions and egotistic preoccupations so he can approach the happiness of divinity.
In Japan people believe that even with the belly full and an erection as large as a bow, one can die of hunger for both food and love.
Inside the museum you can also watch porno movies from the beginning of the television. Some are quite comic, as are the comments:
“Having a husband is like having the same client every night.”
Wow… reality does hurt!
The museum also tells the story of the happy brothels in Paris and their happy, in a strange sort of way, torture chambers.
What else is to see in Paris?
Well, La Fayette galleries are beautifully decorated, but if you fancy buying an item from one of the stores, you are in for a dive. It would be wiser if you’d just imagine being in a museum of belle art. Watch but do not touch! And do not ask for the price. You know what they say, if you ask, you can’t afford it.
16 km long and having 35000 exhibits, Louvre is the second largest museum in the world and I have spent an entire day there without covering much.
There are all kinds of interesting exhibitions going on, such as La mecanique des dessous, explaining what people, mostly women, endure to make themselves look better. The list is never ending and I suspect the topic will always be of interest. Perhaps, after all, love is not that blind.
A cruise on the Seine with Vedette Pont Neuf to see Paris at dusk is also a good idea and I have enjoyed it much more than taking the famous Bateau Mouche, which was more expensive and more commercial.
You could also go to Disneyland Paris, the happiest place I’ve found in Paris.
Last but not least, go to Versailles. The gardens are amazing. And remember, after 4 pm, you get cheaper tickets, so for about 6 euros you are in. Unfortunately, so are the big tourists groups…
And don’t forget the French cuisine!
A few dishes that you must try while in Paris:
- Beef tartar. Simply delicious.
- The pissenlit. Nothing else than delicious dandelion salad. Yes, go easy on those weeds.
- Motabbal. Eggplant salad mixed with sesame. Real love starts here.
And ends in… well, in one of those famous Love hotels.
When I was there, there was a statistic done, which found that 85% of the French people, make love four to five times per week. So, I guess after all, I was in the city of love… making.